Lose Weight & Laugh

Burning Some Calories!

Although tackling weight challenges and obesity is definitely no laughing matter, sometimes all you need to pick yourself up is a good old laugh.

According to some scientist type with nothing better to do, laughing 10-15 minutes a day will burn enough calories to lose two kilograms (4.4 pounds) in a year!

Don’t get too excited though, it would take one hour of non-stop side-busting laughter to work off one average sized chocolate bar!

But laughter does have other health benefits. Read more on:

It relieves stress and relaxes the body reducing problems associated with high blood pressure, strokes, arthritis, and ulcers. Some research suggests that laughter may also reduce the risk of heart disease.

If at first you don’t succeed, then skydiving probably isn’t for you.

– Steve Wright

A robust chuckle or just a wee titter also boosts the immune system and a good belly laugh exercises the diaphragm, contracts the abs and even works out the shoulders, leaving muscles more relaxed afterward. Your heart rate goes up and you will find that negative feelings and thoughts are banished from the mind.

So without further ado let’s bring on the humour and funny stories!

1. A middle-aged Irish navvy straight off the building site was terribly overweight. Too much Guinness and fried food. So his doctor put him on a newly discovered diet.
   “I want you to eat regular meals, anything you like,  for 2 days. Then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 more weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 pounds.”
   When Paddy returned, his doctor was shocked to discover that he had in fact lost an amazing 60 pounds.
   “Why, that’s unbelievable!” the doctor said. “Did you follow my instructions ?”
   Paddy nodded, “Oh yes sir! To be sure. But I have to tell you that I thought I was going to drop dead on the 3rd day.”
   “From hunger, you mean ?” the doctored enquired.
   “No, from all the damn skipping!”

“If someone had told me years ago that sharing a sense of humour was so vital to partnerships, I could have avoided a lot of very disappointing sex!”

- Kate Beckinsale

2. Diet Rules that I am still working on (suggestions welcomed):
   1. If you eat something and no one sees you eat it, it has no calories.
   2. If you drink a diet soda with a candy bar, the calories in the candy bar are canceled out by the diet soda.
   3. When you eat with someone else, calories don’t count if you don’t eat more than they do.
   4. Food used for medicinal purposes NEVER counts, such as hot chocolate, brandy, toast and Sara Lee Cheesecake.
   5. If you fatten up everyone else around you, then you look thinner.
   6. Movie-related foods (Milk Duds, Buttered Popcorn, Junior Mints, Red Hots, Tootsie Rolls, Hot Dogs, etc.) do not have additional calories because they are part of the entertainment package and not part of one’s personal fuel.

   

   7. Cookie pieces contain no calories — the process of breaking causes calorie leakage.
   8. Things licked off knives and spoons have no calories if you are in the process of preparing something. Examples are peanut butter on a knife while making a sandwich and ice cream on a spoon when making a sundae.
   9. Foods that have the same color have the same number of calories. Examples are: spinach and pistachio ice cream; mushrooms and white chocolate.
   10. Foods that are frozen have no calories because calories are units of heat. Examples are ice cream, frozen pies, and popsicles.

   Note: Chocolate is a universal color and may be substituted for any other food color.

   “A Friend is like a Good Bra, hard to find, supportive, comfortable, always lifts you up, never lets you down or leaves you hanging, and is always close to your heart.”

3. I keep trying to lose weight – but no matter how hard I try it keeps finding me.
4. My food preference is often!
5. I am not fat – just horizontally enhanced.
6. I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them. – Joan Rivers

Ok, feel better? I hope so. Laughing, whether a wry smile or a full, let it rip, from the belly snorter really does make you feel better. So if things are going a bit rough and it seems like the world is piling it up against you, just reach out for the nearest comedy DVD, settle back and don’t hold it in.

Let me know what makes you laugh by adding a comment below, I’d be really interested to see what does it for you.