Weight Loss Sabotage – Friend Or Foe?

Why Those Closest May Not Be The Help They Should!

I’m gonna touch on a touchy subject today. Are your friends and family being a help or a hindrance to your weight loss efforts?

Friend Or Foe?

I don’t have to tell you how hard it can be to lose weight, everything can seem to be stacked against you. Without a doubt your chances of success improve if you have supportive people around you. If you have good support from friends, have supportive colleagues at work and can go home at night to more support from your partner or family, then weight loss becomes so much easier.

It is so vital that you have every possible factor working in your favour to ensure your success and it would be reasonable to expect that our friends and family would support us in our efforts to lose weight and be healthier.

But sometimes, those closest to you, those you need and expect the most help from, may actually be trying to sabotage your weight loss efforts. Either without knowing what they are doing or more sinisterly, intentionally.

When The Going Gets Tough

Support comes in two forms – the practical kind (like keeping chocolate fudge out of the house/office or minding the kids so you can go to the gym) and verbal support (like words of encouragement).

In most cases those closest to you are going to be your biggest supporters. The ones that really keep by your side through all the crappy times; the ones who will help you find the strength to persevere when the going gets tough.

So for most of you this is hopefully just a “I Never Knew That” piece. But if some of the following strikes a bell with you and sounds alarmingly familiar then perhaps you need to take another closer read.

“He loves me, and if I’m stressed out or unhappy, his solution is cherry ripple ice cream”

While she calls her husband a “diet saboteur,” Carol Vanderbilt, a fashion designer, nevertheless believes that her husband’s lack of support is benign. “He loves me, and if I’m stressed out or unhappy, his solution is cherry ripple ice cream,” she said.

The first task is to successfully differentiate between intentional diet sabotage and well-intentioned, but equally damaging, diet vandalism as a result of ignorance or lack of thought.

Contrast the above example of “lack of thought” sabotage with this scenario. Joanne put on a lot of weight after picking up unhealthy eating habits at university. After graduating, she formed a tight circle of friends with some colleagues at her first job.

Joanne

Although Joanne was obviously the most overweight girl in her group, she was never made to feel self conscious or less attractive than her friends. They accepted her as she was, and always complimented her clothes, hair or make up whenever they could.

However, when Joanne began successfully losing the 60 pounds plus she’d put on in university, she noticed a definite change in the attitudes of a few of her group.

Suddenly, there were snide little comments and jokes made at her expense by these girls. They also began excluding her from certain get togethers and events in which they’d usually all participate. Not understanding the sudden change in her friends attitudes towards her, Joanne was puzzled and hurt.

Now, these friends, who she saw as her support system, were suddenly rejecting her and trying to make her feel bad about herself. Why?

Why Your Biggest Allies Can Turn Against You

It can be the person you least expect who attempts to sabotage your weight loss. Perhaps your spouse or partner, a sibling or even your best friend as in the example above. Whilst this situation can happen for many different reasons, by far the most common reason is that the “saboteur” finds themselves feeling threatened by your efforts to lose weight.

Here are some scenarios where someone may be reacting out of fear or insecurity, see if any seem familiar:

• Friends may be scared that you want to change your life in other ways. Maybe you’ll be leaving them out of your “new and improved” circle of friends along with your new, healthy lifestyle.
• A friend may feel your weight loss makes their extra weight seem more noticeable to others.
• Your spouse may be jealous of or dislike the attention you are getting from other people.
• A family member may resent the time you spend exercising or preparing healthy foods (particularly if they themselves partake of neither) when you would previously have been spending more time with them. Children especially can fall into this category. They’re so accustomed to having your full attention and you being at their beck and call. Your kids can become more difficult and whiny because they know that will get your attention back.
• A friend may feel guilty about continuing to eat your formerly favorite foods while you eat lighter fare and/or may miss their “partner in crime” if you frequently ate together or shared “bad” foods.

Saboteur!

Tell Tale Clues The Saboteur Leaves Behind

So, how do you know a weight loss saboteur when you meet one?

Here are some clues. Weight loss saboteurs may…

• Urge you to eat sweet or fattening foods.
• Undermine your efforts by making negative comments, such as: “No one ever keeps the weight off!” or “You’ll never make your goal weight. You always quit.”
• Continually offer you second helpings of food despite the fact that you say you are no longer hungry.
• Keep a watchful eye on everything you eat, make snide comments, or check the fridge or food packages to see if you have eaten “bad” foods in their absence.
• Be overly critical of your weight loss methods.
• Discourage you from getting regular physical activity.
• Belittle or make fun of you.

Ok so now you understand maybe why your closest allies can turn against you. You know how to recognise them and their treachery, but what can you do to protect yourself from the effects of their underhand actions? How do you learn to cope with this kind of negativity and chipping away at your self resolve and confidence?

Well tune in next week and I’ll give you the low down on fighting back!