Weight Loss Sabotage – Fighting Back

Facing Up To It

As we didn’t manage to finish everything last week, I’ll just take a quick second to recap on what we did cover.

We introduced the concept of diet sabotage; and how it can be the ones closest to you that do the most damage. Then we went on to explore why your nearest and dearest would attempt to undermine your commendable efforts and we ended up by covering the tell-tale clues that expose these diet saboteurs.

Like Wading Through Quicksand!

If you find that someone in your life fits these characteristics, it is likely you are dealing with someone who, consciously or unconsciously, does not want your weight loss efforts to succeed.

It is important to recognize if someone is making your weight loss efforts harder rather than easier; not acknowledging this will only lead to failure and resentment in your relationship. After all, weight loss changes a lot more than just your dress size and you may have to change the way you relate to your loved ones if this becomes a problem.

But you do need to stand firm in the face of any and all opposition to you achieving your goals. Many people cave in to all the mounting pressures of guilt, negativity, fear of rejection, not to mention the fear of losing the love of family members who are acting this way.

As for friends, be sure to cultivate and surround yourself with positive, supportive, confident people who are about doing and achieving, themselves. That way they won’t feel threatened when you make forward, positive strides in your own life.

When you see this happening, you have to open up communication with the people in your life. Let them know how important it really is to you to be a fitter, healthier person.

Failure To Communicate

The bottom line is that everyone, regardless of gender, needs support when they’re trying to lose weight. Just don’t assume that everyone’s a mind reader, let friends and colleagues, as well as partners, know you’re trying to lose weight and let them know how they can help.

Everyone Needs Support

Having an honest talk about your weight loss efforts and your loved one’s influence on them. Explain to them how very important that losing weight is to you. Tell them that their support could mean the difference between success and failure to you. Ask them for their help.

Maybe even take the time to work out why you losing weight would be good for them. You will be less grumpy, less depressed, have more energy to do more things that you both enjoy doing. It means that you’re trying to make sure you’ll be around for as long as possible to continue doing all the things that you enjoy doing together.

Don’t be afraid to point out things that make it harder for you to lose weight or give examples of statements that have hurt your feelings.

Asking someone for their unconditional support isn’t like asking someone to change a light bulb; it takes a little pride-swallowing. But admitting to this person that you need their help may be the first step in improving the situation for both of you.

Here are some ideas:

• “When you prepare a meal for us, I would prefer it if you didn’t offer me seconds. Please don’t take offense when I refuse.”
• “When you bring snacks or fast food into the house, please try to eat them in another room or at least, don’t offer me any of yours. These are problem foods for me and hard to resist them.”
• “I feel more likely to stick to my walking routine if you will join me every now and again. It’s something we can do together.”
• “I am carefully watching what I do and don’t eat. If I do slip now and again, believe me, I am aware of it. I don’t need you to point it out.”

Be Strong - You Are Worth It!

In turn, ask your loved one to tell you about their feelings. You may be surprised at what comes to light. Ask them what you can do to help them adjust to your new lifestyle. (If your friend, for example, feels threatened you’ll leave her behind for a “new crowd,” a simple heart-to-heart may be all it takes for her to put those feelings of fear and resentment behind her.)

Learn To Cope

This type of behavior from those closest to us can be very disheartening when we are already feeling vulnerable.

Fortunately, there are several tactics you can use to improve the situation and prevent sabotaging of your diet.

After spending some time discussing the problem you need to move on to practical action.

To eliminate the feelings of insecurity they may be experiencing as you begin to reveal your new, slimmer body, try to spend more time together and bond by asking them to become your weight loss buddy. Not only will this provide the back-up support you need, but it will help them feel included.

Plan Together

Be sure to let those closest to you know the guidelines for your diet. In some cases, what appears to be sabotage could simply be the result of not having enough information. If you find that certain areas are especially weak points for you; clue your family and friends in so that they can help you to meet your weight loss goals.

Try planning non-food activities with friends and family as often as possible. If you’re used to drinks and appetizers with friends, get together for bowling instead; instead of going to your Mom’s for dessert, ask her to play a game of cards with you.

When friends and family express judgmental feelings; the first thing you should do is realize that these statements are more about their own feelings of inadequacies. Try not to take it personally. Instead, focus on the fact that you are doing something healthy for yourself.

If this a major area of concern for you then you may wish to keep a record in your journal of the occasions when someone says or does something that you feel undermines your efforts.

Most importantly, never accuse friends/family of the obvious tactics they are using. At the end of each day, look over these instances and try to come up with ways you can handle the situation better.

Often, dealing with these types of influences comes down to avoiding them, ignoring them, or giving yourself the positive self-talk that undoes the damage caused by your loved one’s negative influence.

The worst case scenario is that you’ll have to distance yourself from the person who is causing your weight loss efforts to suffer, when possible and when all else has failed.

I’m not advocating mass marriage break-ups

Ok, I’m not advocating mass marriage break-ups here. Family should be strong enough to get through the tough times.

But when you are having these problems with friends or less permanent partners, this may be the ideal time to sit down and re-consider where your relationship is going.

Sometimes a breather from a relationship is a good thing. You don’t have to look at it as a break up. Remember that when you feel stronger or once you’ve met your weight loss goal, you can pick up where you left off.

And your self-esteem and confidence will have grown to such an extent that it is just possible that you may well have outgrown the relationship.

Be Strong – You Are So Worth It!

Each situation is different and only you can decide what is best for yourself, your relationship and your own health and well being.

Remember, no one should be able to make you eat or do, or not do, anything that you do not want to. It is your body and your health at stake and you have to take charge of it.

Your health and well-being are too important for you to put either at risk. What kind of friend or partner is it that will allow their insecurity or ignorance to endanger both your physical health and your self-contentment? Like I said: Be strong! You are so worth it!